Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Many issues kept appearing.. Today, I was reminded of Benjamin Chia's incident. Haiz~ I don't know why but you seem to sound like Benjamin Chia sometimes. Have such high expectations for me. This is a form of stress. I don't think I can live up to your expectations. My emotions have taken a roller coaster ride recently also. Anyway, if I really cannot take the stress, I'm sorry but I have to say byebye to you.. just like what we have done to Benjamin. When the time comes to let go totally, no matter how unwilling I am, I will still do it. I hope we don't end up like Ben and us. I used to be tired physically but I'm getting tired emotionally too. I hope you meant what you have said, if not I'll just be wasting my saliva =(

Nowadays, I keep letting too many things affect me and I will lose my concentration. After I've put down the phone, I feel like crying again coz whenever I think of the pile of work that I need to do, I just feel so stressed and disappointed in myself. Although the chat was good and enjoyable but after putting down the phone and seeing that the time is 4:37am, I felt guilty for being on the phone for so long. If not, I could have at least gotten some work done. Tears just flowed down. Hm.. maybe I can cry easily too. I cannot eat normally and sleep normally anymore. My appetite is getting smaller and I cannot sleep at night. I need someone to be there for me and support me, not to add on to my stress.

PS: I hope that you really love me and want the best for me.

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