Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dear readers, oops~ I'm gonna be posting this long and emo post but after this, I hope to be going on hiatus so yeah.. I won't be in action anytime soon. In the meanwhile, please just bear with me =) Welcome to discuss on my tagboard also. Hee~

Yesterday, I had a talk with some people. One of the things explored is expectations. This reminds me of Benjamin Chia again. Haiz~ Expectations are so hard to be fulfilled. Everyone expects everyone else to be understanding, etc.. But how many people can actually do it themselves? Is there such a thing as unconditional love anymore? Sometimes, you can't even get it from your parents/family (note: I'm not referring to mine or what. Just parents in general). Yeah, true. Parents expect you to listen to them, be their good boy/girl, do well in your studies (so that they can show off ~ maybe? some parents are like that lor, like to compare their kids' results and stressing them) etc.. Haha~ How many people can actually give (their love or sth..) without expecting anything in return? Hm..

Yesterday, Diana asked me out for a movie. I've rejected her saying that I can only meet her after my exams. She's okie about it. She said exams are more important, should focus first. Go out anytime also can go. That time, I wanted to study with Min Hui but she isn't free. So too bad lah. I'm also okie about it. I've flown people's aeroplane (many times?) and people have flown my aeroplane (many times also?) yet we didn't get into any argument at all. If someone said that he/she got something on at the last minute and cannot meet me, I just say okie lor. Meet up next time. The two people who actually flared up at me are Jeffery and my dear kor. So xiao qi lor.

Anyway, Min Hui reminded me about compromising. I shouldn't be feeling wei qu (yeah, but I can't help feeling that sometimes). Well, I did try to compromise and give in (sometimes, maybe it isn't enough?). That day, when Jeffery and I watched Shinjuku, I was actually feeling very tired on that day yet I go ahead with the movie knowing that he wanted to spend time together. I went with him to Tampines1 despite me feeling very tired (hell, I'm always tired. Haiz~) and tried to enjoy myself.

Sometimes, I feel so sad for myself. I don't know why and what happened but I can no longer feel happiness. I wish to go back to the past when I actually feel like and enjoy going out. I haven't been going out with friends either. The last time was with Diana and Saliah which was like in March? I used to go out with Min Hui and co. once a week (how did we have so much time in the past was beyond me). Just going to pitstop and gossiping can make my day. Haha~ I miss gossiping. I remembered us telling everyone (almost?) about Benjamin and Eileen can go on and on about the 1am thing. Lolx~ Life is becoming so stressful and mundane that I need some sort of entertainment. Talking to Jeanette has made me happy. Although she has been in US for a few years, we are still close. We still chat online. I can still tell her and share with her things. It seems like she has never left me. Time really passes by so fast. Very soon, she would be back in Singapore. She would have completed her Masters! OMG! That's fast. Haha~

Reflecting, I'm sorry Jeffery regarding the Coach wristlet incident. That was my fault. You don't have to pay me back. Yeah, meanie me was being unreasonable. I'm sorry for that. Min Hui told me to explain to you nicely that not meeting now is for the better future. 2 weeks plus will pass by in no time. Relationships need to 经的起考验。Haha~ Carmen, see.. now I'm jealous of your relationship with Mr Darrial also =P. He went to Germany to study for one year but you two are still so 恩爱。

Hm.. I miss doing projects in NP with Yimei they all. Haha~ Somehow, I had more feel to do projects then (maybe it's the people? coz shou already mah) and can contribute more and go to the extra mile. I miss bickering and crapping with Yimei (my dear crap queen, haha~). Haha, it can entertain Yim and William and make the meetings more lively. If not, so damn sianz lor. I miss going to Ebonne's house to do the CFAS game. Although that was tedious but the process was quite fun mah. I miss going mentoring with Onyee, Jiamin, they all. I miss complaining to Jiamin. Oh well, I would be missing school life, I suppose. But school was much more fun then. The competition was less stiff, the curriculum was easier to comprehend and overall, the stress level was much less. Things have changed though. Everyone is like so busy with their own stuff. But like what Yimei has said before, everyone is moving forward, I cannot remain in the past. I got to move forward also. So yup, I'm moving forward. Will only look and reminisce the past once in awhile.. like now. Hee~

Lastly, congrats to Onyee for finding a good job. Bon voyage to Calin for her trip. Good luck to everyone taking their exams. Good luck to people graduating and may we find a good job soon. Good luck to Esther for starting school in NP. Heehee~ It's a good school and I may visit you someday there =P All the best to Jeffery in your work. I realise that I do not love myself that much. I am compromising on my sleep and now I'm falling sick =( Okie, time to read through the EC2374 report for the final time coz the prof has somehow extended the deadline to tonight.

PS: Just a reminder to everyone (including myself): We shouldn't take anyone for granted and flare up at people just because we are in a bad mood and expect them to be understanding. No one is anyone's 出气筒。Please remind me if I do that. No one has the obligation to take our nonsense. Benben used to flare up at us and expect us to take his nonsense just because he has an operation =.= And I hope that people can mean what they say and keep to their words. Oh my, I'm so long-winded =/

No comments: