Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sometimes, when I'm not in front of the computer, I'll have some stuff which I want to blog about and I'll make small mental note about it. However, when I'm sitting down in front of the computer, those mental notes suddenly disappear. I have to reorganise my thoughts which makes me lazy to blog. Argh!

Anyway, remember I mentioned that I wanna do a reflection of 2009? I haven't had the time to fully think it through yet. Come to think of it, many things happened in 2009. I gave up a friendship because I can sense that she doesn't really want to befriend me anymore. Although I don't really know the exact reason but I don't think I should force anyone to be my friend or make them unhappy being with me. So I did not try to salvage the friendship. I don't know if it's right or wrong. Sometimes, it's hard to do the right thing or rather the best thing for everyone. Oh well. It doesn't matter. It has been so long already and we can never go back to where we were.

In my last relationship, I desperately wanted to let go of it. I desperately wanted to break up. But it dragged on.. Looking back, it's such a mistake. I guess, it's much easier to break up if both parties agree to it. If one party keeps trying to patch up or anything, it's hard. Or to me coz sometimes I can be rather soft-hearted so.. yeah, my fault. I should be firm and decisive. Anyway, I still want to thank him for letting me go in the end. I felt such a strong sense of relief. More relief than sadness. I have learnt a lot from the past relationship but at the same time, I have paid a high price as the tuition fee. Haha~ Sometimes, when I think back, it isn't worth it at all but.. Oh well, life goes on. Certain things cannot be changed, time cannot be turned back. More about this later when I have the time/mood.

Lastly, I wish to find someone who truly loves me and will do things in my best interest and vice versa. I don't believe in possessiveness as a true love. True love should be selfless and not possessive =)

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